I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
