She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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