shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
organizing the empties. That sober.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
