As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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