You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
