Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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