Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize