I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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