Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
