hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
