too bad you live with your parents still
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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