He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
