Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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