HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
