She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So much rum. So many feels.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
