I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
