I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
