I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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