Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
