His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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