I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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