Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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