My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
