And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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