don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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