Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
