This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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