my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
