2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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