I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
