Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
