I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
