i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
