We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
