I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
