There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
