i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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