So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
