I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
