I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
