Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
