Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
