I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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