I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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