I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize