So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
