I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
