I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
