and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
