Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
