I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
