maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
