omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize