Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
