found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
