I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
