I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
