you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
