yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Randomize
