Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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